The differences between the 1st and 2nd child

So it's quite obvious that there will be differences between your first and second child. Not only their personalities but also how you handle the same situation.

Ethan rolled over at 6 months, cut his first tooth at the same time, crawled at 9 and walked at 13 months. Helana is now 10 months old and has only mastered the rolling over so far. She is mobile and is pushing herself around on her bum to get where she wants to go and as of yesterday she is standing confidently. In fact a little too confidently as we had our first big bump.  She was holding on to the table when she decided to try one handed. It didn't end well as she fell backwards and bumped her head. Cue tears and screams but all was well. When Ethan had his first big bump I was panicked, I kept an eye on him to make sure he wasn't concussed. I over reacted. This time round it was a cuddle and a few kisses and all was well again.

Oh my the kids are two different people. I knew they would be of course but I look at them and I can see that they will be trouble when they are older. Ethan is very stubborn (his dad) and he likes to get up early (this he gets from me), he likes to know how things work, he's caring, he's very smart and he can be very high strung. Helana on the other hand likes to sleep (dad), she's a happy girly, barely makes a fuss, inquisitive and independent. Of course the kids are a mixture of both of our personalities but a Ethan is a mini Hayd. He looks like him and he acts like him. No denying who he belongs to. :)

By your second child you've already been through the mill and you've pretty much come up against most issues. You know what to do. You can do it with out much thought and when you look back you do laugh at how silly you may have looked as you cried with your little one when they did. This time around I'm the mum I wanted to be the first time. I'm not suffering PND, I'm enjoying life.

Our birthdays came and went with nothing memorable to mention. We had made plans to go for dinner with the kids on the Friday but the eldest woke that morning with a temperature and was generally unwell. The dinner was postponed until the following week. However both I and the youngest had then caught the bug and we weren't up to doing much so we postponed it again. We did go out this past Friday though. It was nice and I do believe the first time we had been out for dinner as a family since the youngest was born.
Ethan had his second parent/ teacher meeting on Friday. We are so happy with his progress. He is a "pleasure to have in class" and a "very caring little boy". He's also very smart and they have no worries about him at all. :)
We were invited over to our friend's house on Saturday to celebrate Richard's birthday. It was a good laugh and took my mind off a few things. Unfortunately both Hayden and I were at work early the next morning so I didn't drink too much (unless you count a huge glass of Gin with nothing but a wedge of lime)  unlike Hayden. He asked me to push him into a bush! He also doesn't remember getting home or some other events that took place. We both woke up the next morning realising we aren't 18 anymore and drinking before a early shift isn't as easy to recover from as it once was. Thank you Lucozade for helping me recover.

Argh!

Argh! This is the best word I can use to describe how I'm feeling right now. It was the Mr's birthday yesterday and of course his parents visited. All was fine, they were late as usual but that's ok it was a special occasion so I'd allowed Ethan to stay up a little later than usual. They arrived, we chatted, we drank tea and Ethan pretended he was the roadrunner (beep beep). It was ok. Once Ethan was in bed (Helena was already asleep as she couldn't keep her eyes open before they arrived) it started. They have decided to pay for new sofas for our joint birthday present. That's great but considering the reason our current sofa is broken thanks to a certain little boy who thought he was superman, I'm a little put off by the idea. Our sofas are used a lot and not just for sitting. They are used to walk the plank, for napping on, as a base away from the lava floor and the odd accident happens on them too. We don't have the funds to put towards new sofas because we are paying off our very overdue wedding. Both kids are at the age where sofas are nothing more than playthings and will take a beating. I'm ok with that. It doesn't bother me if people come over and see our broken sofa. At the end of the day it was broken making memories. That's the most important part. We have decided to give in though as we feel we have no choice and I'm fed up at being nagged at by my 'soon to be' in laws. 

The other thing that was mentioned is my job again! This always comes up. For some reason they feel the need to job hunt for me. I'm not job hunting myself. I currently work more hours over the weekends then I did when my availability was 6 days a week. It works well for us. Both of us are at home of an evening to put the kids to bed. We can eat together, I'm not coming home after 10pm to eat my tea then go to bed after not seeing or talking to the Mr all day and this going on all week. My wages have increased and the biggest reason not for me to go anywhere at the moment is I'm enjoying my job. I love working weekends. I love seeing kids come to watch their first film and all the excitement that goes with it. I've always worked customer service roles. Sure I moan about the general public, there are some people that really need to check themselves before entering the building but I love the characters I come face to face with. I've met some lovely people in my job. One lady told me that when I go home to kiss my children and cherish them. I didn't know this lady and I've not seen her since but I did what she said. There's an autistic boy that comes in most weekends and he's such a darling. He always tells you a random fact when you see him. I look forward to him coming in as he brightens my day. 

Sometimes I think about working in an office environment but I think I'd miss the public. I've had two jobs in 9 years. I obviously don't feel the need to change jobs. I don't know what it is with my in laws deciding for me that I need to change my job. 

If I decide to change jobs in the near future I'm sure I'll let my in laws know but currently I'm happy where I am. 

We are finally chicken pox free! The littlest is dried up and the scabs are starting to fall off. Ethan has no scabs left just the marks as to where they were. Unfortunately as he has picked a couple off that look like they have scarred. I hope that as he is only 3 and a half that with time they will fade. So a healthy (almost) household.
Since going back to work I have been extremely tired. There's been evenings where I've had to retire to bed by 8 o'clock. Before children I used to work 14 hour split shifts, finish at 5am and be back at work before lunch time the next day and still manage to have a social life. Now I'm in my pajamas by 5pm! I don't want to sound like I'm moaning because I love being a parent and I actually do enjoy my job but I think I might of been burning the candle at both ends. Thankfully I have Sunday so my plans are for a huge amount of family time. I've not seen my parents in 3 weeks and they only live a 10 minute drive away.
The return to work was a very easy one. I didn't feel anxious or sad that I was leaving the kids at home (with their dad) all day or worried how he'd cope. Instead I found it empowering that I was going to be someone other than Ethan and Helana's mummy. I even enjoyed being away from the kids for a few hours a day.
There is a new CEO at our company and he seems great. He cares for the staff in a way that is new to me and wants to keep the staff on instead of accepting a high turnaround. We are now paid 30p higher than the national minimum wage and he has promised to raise our wages a further 10% by the end of the year. Yes we are still below the living wage but we aren't struggling and an extra 30p an hour will make quite the difference.
I'm not planning at staying at my job forever and to reflect this I started a online forensics course with the university of Strathclyde through future learn. So far I've not quite finished the first week and I have a little catching up to do but I am enjoying it. I don't know if this is a career path I'd choose though.
It's my birthday next week! I've got nothing planned but maybe we'll try to find the time to actually go out for dinner. The kids are going to hate it when they are older and having to buy presents as it is the Mr's two days before mine. I'm a year older than he is so for two whole days we were be the same age before I roll over in to another year. I've given him a list of things that I wouldn't mind but if he were to get none of them I wouldn't mind. I've asked for a new phone case and a cd among other things but nothing too exciting. To be honest being able to pee in peace would be a great birthday gift.

Christmas and more chicken pox

Ethan's chicken pox had cleared up enough by Christmas Day for us to stick to our original plans. It was the first day in 9 days that he had left the house. In my opinion Christmas Day was uneventful. It's all about the kids anyway and they were spoilt rotten.
I got some nice presents. I was really pleased with the in laws choices for me. There wasn't one thing that I didn't like. This is a major improvement to previous years.
Our new year was a quiet one. We were in bed by ten and I was asleep before midnight although the mr said he was awake by the time midnight rolled around. Too much emphasis is put on New Year's Eve. I've done the celebrating out in town and at parties but I prefer staying at home with the kids, a blanket, a film and some popcorn. Memories being made instead of memories being forgotten.
We were hoping Helana had dodged the chicken pox bullet but unfortunately on New Year's Eve the first few showed up. We are on day 4 right now and they don't look so angry but unfortunately she's got a worse case then her brother. She's covered all over her head and in the nappy area. She can't have antihistamines unless prescribed by a doctor because she's under one but she seems to be coping ok. She's still her happy self and still has her hunger.
I returned to work today after nearly eleven months off. I thought I'd really miss the kids and the day would drag but it was ok. The thing I did find annoying was all the paper work I had to redo and I had to have a induction. I have been working for the same company for five years in march so a little pointless considering not much has changed at all. Oh well I enjoyed myself but I'm very tired now so much so that I am considering going to bed now and it's only 6:35pm!

Chicken pox!

On Wednesday afternoon I spotted what looked like a spot on the little man's forehead and thought nothing of it. It wasn't until I ruffled his hair (which I do often) that I noticed more bumps on his head. I lifted his top up at the back and he had about 4 blisters. That's when I knew he had chicken pox. I face timed my dad who confirmed it. He had the pox!
I've been dreading this day. My sister got chicken pox when she was around 3 so not far of the age of Eth now but even though I was around her all the time I never got it then. Instead I came down with it when I was 17. I was very poorly with it. It took me over a month to recover. Thankfully Eth is fine in himself. He's a little down because he's had to miss the last two days of school but other than that he's happy.
We had a rough night last night. He was up and down all night. I was on scratch watch and there to dry the tears. We're on day three and the ones he had on Wednesday seem to be drying up. New ones have appeared on his face but so far no blisters just red dots.  So far I've only had to use antihistamines, calpol and luke warm baths to help him. I do have calamine lotion in though.
We've got his fingers crossed that by Christmas Day they will be scabbed over so we can stick to our original plans because as it stands we can't visit the in-laws as father in law has a weakened immune system. Thankfully if that happens my dad is more than happy to have us over as everyone at home has had it. I'm not going to lie I feel very stressed out about it all. At least so far none have appeared on the littlest. I hate having to keep brother and sister apart though.
To make light of the situation I've told Eth if he gets anymore I'll join them up and see what picture it creates. He's even been pressing the mild ones like buttons!
If there's one wish I have for Christmas it's for Eth to get better.

It's Christmas time

The Christmas cards have been sent. The decorations are up and there's already too much food in the house and there is still a week to go. It's Christmas!
This is the first year that Ethan has shown an interest in. Helped by the fact that he attends a school based nursery and has been involved in all the festive activities. They designed their own Christmas cards at school that of course as parents are encouraged to buy. We did obviously did and these are the cards we sent out. Maybe to a few people they look quickly put together but they are special to me. He was very proud of his design when I picked them up from the school. They even had the words "designed by Ethan" on the back of the card. Proud mummy moment.
I volunteered to help with a walk to the local church for the nursery to learn about the story of the nativity. I'm not a religious person (never have been) but there is something special about Christmas and the nativity. Do not get me wrong I was sat there thinking this is all hoo hah but the kids enjoyed themselves after they stopped talking about cake! They learnt about the story and what Christmas is 'about' and then they dressed up as characters from the nativity and form the scene. Ethan could not control himself he was volunteering to dress up as anyone including Mary! In the end he got the role of one of the wise men.

The nursery put a Christmas song concert on for the family last Thursday. It was 5 songs sang by the children. One was jingle bells. Ethan had been singing this song for the last month but when it came to the big day he got bored and didn't sing instead he just rang the bell. It was so funny to see. 
This Christmas is going to be special not only is Ethan excited but it will also be Helana's first Christmas and both the mr and I will be at home this year. We've never been both off at this time of year, usually one of us is working Boxing Day which puts a downer on the big day itself when you know you've got work in the morning.
I am officially off maternity and instead on holiday. I return to work the 3rd of January. I feel surprisingly ok about this not nearly as nervous as I was after I returned from maternity with Ethan. I'm sure I'll find it odd to get back into a work environment once again but I'll be around friends so I'm sure I'll cope.
My job isn't looking great at the moment. I'm on a zero hour contract so they can give me any hours they like or lack of. I would like to leave but finding something to fit in around the kids isn't easy. I could put them both in full time child care but then I would be working to pay for the child care and not be any better off. The government wants mothers to return to work but it's not as easy as they make it out to be. You can get universal credit which includes a little extra to pay towards child care but what you get is hardly worth it. I looked into putting Helana in full time childcare 5 days a week and that would cost £600 a month. That's more than our mortgage! Needless to say it's unaffordable and I'm stuck where I am for the time being.