You don't get to choose your family

I lost my maternal grandfather on the 5th November. To say I had any feelings would be wrong. The truth is I didn't know the man. In my 27 years I can count the times I've met him on one hand. My mother left both my sister and I when we were 5 and 3 years of age . She had very little contact since. The truth is I've not seen her for 17 years. She wanted boys and ended up with girls, my parents marriage dissolved and she moved away. She always blamed my dad for the marriage going south but she was the one who walked away. She got remarried, had another daughter and pretended we didn't exist.
I always put on a front that her walking away doesn't bother me but deep down I suppose it does.  Since I've become a mother I find it difficult to understand why anyone would walk away from their children. She knows she's a grandmother and I've given her opportunity after opportunity to meet the kids and close the door on the past but she just doesn't want to know.
It's not just her though that whole side of the family just don't want to know. Sure they add you on Facebook but then all I ever get are games requests. No actual conversation has taken place. So I deleted them. It felt therapeutic, it felt amazing. That baggage gone. I'm through with trying to hold a connection that isn't there.
My mother's youngest sister was the one who let me know that my grandfather had passed away. She's the only one on that side that cares. She went out of her way to find my sister and I because no one would tell her where we were. She's great! There's nothing you couldn't like about her. She spends the summer months travelling around in a yellow bus to festivals setting up shop. Her kids are great as well and they're great with our kids. I'd love one year to travel with them just for a couple of weeks.  I've not seen them for about year but we keep in touch. Unfortunately she lives down south and trying to find the time when we are both free can prove to be challenging.
At least she makes an effort some relatives that live much closer don't seem to make an effort. It's not like I don't include them but it's never returned. The mr tells me it's their loss but I can't help but feel the kids are the ones who are missing out.
I guess it's true what they say you can't choose your family. 

Why I love doing the food shop online

We first did the food shop with asda online when we had a very young baby and the car was off the road. The first time was a disaster. We choose an 8 hour slot so we waited in all day for the shopping to be delivered and then it turned up late!
Then a few months later we gave it another go all because asda had a offer that you pay £15 and for 3 months you can have any slot at any time or day for free as long as you spend £40 or more. Well as a family of 3 at the time plus two pets it made sense. I could book an early morning slot and get it over and done with. No more dragging the little one around the supermarket early on a Saturday morning to avoid the crowds and no more supermarket tantrums! It's great, I can do the order a week or more in advance and just adjust it up until 11:00pm the night before the delivery is due. Ok so I miss not being able to pick out my own fruit/veg and there have been a few items missing on occasion but these things are easily sorted.
Now being on maternity leave and having two kids and a couple of pets and only a Corsa it makes even more sense to get it delivered. I usually choose a Friday morning slot 8am-10am which suits us just fine because by then the kids have been up for a couple of hours already and it leaves the day free for other activities.
I love food shopping online!

Holiday

What a week. We spent the 4 days at Kiln park holiday park in Tenby, South Wales with the in laws. All 6 of us in a caravan with paper thin walls. I mean they were that thin that you could hear everyone turn over in bed. 

The holiday was nice but I've come home feeling like I've not been away. There have been fall outs and I've learnt a few things as well. On Tuesday they decided we should go to the beach. I said before we went that we would never get the pram down the path as it was sandy. I was ignored and then when we got there I had my worries realised when we could get the pram anywhere as it was getting stuck. A man and his family on their way back told us it doesn't get easier on the beach as it's soft sand and they had the same problem as us. That was that then  I volunteered to take Helana back to the caravan whilst everyone else went on the beach. The mr came back to give me a hand but unbeknowst to is the in laws decided to also come back. I was accused of making it awkward for everyone (I wasn't as I said I'll go back) and I was reduced to tears. I stayed back with the little one whilst everyone went off. I later found out that Ethan had been playing up and was told "if you don't calm down then your mummy won't let you come out again." This explains why he's always a little devil when he returns from theirs. Seems I'm made out to be the nasty mummy that never lets him do anything exciting. Great! 

We went into the local town the next day without the apology I was owned. Whilst there we spotted a couple of Ethan's favourite disney Pixar characters. Mater and Lightening McQueen. 

Also picked up a few presents for the folks back home although the brother and sister in law nearly didn't get anything as it seems the father in law wasn't keen on spending money out to get them anything. The mr and myself went back and got them something instead. 

Some of the views were amazing. 

*Castle rock on Tenby beach*

It's a shame we didn't get to really see much else apart from the caravan park and beach as they had some really cool local attractions. Maybe we'll do that if we ever visit Tenby again (without the in laws) 

*Helana flat out*

*The mr*

I couldn't wait to get home. I really appreciate my privacy after those few short days with none.