The mr has been off for the past two days as he starts a 7 day working week this morning. Is like to say it was filled with lots of exciting things but it wasn't. Instead it was filled with DIY. We started to finish decorating our bedroom a year after we had started it. We've still got two walls to finish painting and all the skirting but at least I've now got somewhere to hang my jewellery. If the swine had been able to have the kids we probably would of had it done by now. 

(My reclaimed spice rack)

Helena is staring to outgrow her Moses basket. So next weekend we are moving her to the nursery and out of our room. Luckily the nursery is off our room so she's not too far out of earshot. When we move in a couple of years I can't wait to have our own room. We've never had our own room. Our bedroom has always accommodated all the things that fit nowhere else. We've lived her 3 years and there has always been a mess in our room. It is the dumping space. 

So Helana actually giggled. I made her giggle. I was so happy I may have shed a tear or two. 

The weather is proving to be too hot for the kids. It's making them really irritable. We've had to stay in for most of it as they have both inherited mine and the mr's pale colouring so they need a ton of suncream but Eth will not put it on. I've not given up but just choosing my battles wisely. 

I've not done anything recently with wedding planning. I'm not at a dead end it's just the invites are sent out and we've had a few RSVP already but until I get a few more confirm I can't really plan the catering although we do have a caterer lined up. No one has declined yet. 

Talking of weddings. I think I've finally sorted out my outfit for the brother and sister in laws wedding. I'm wearing heels! I never wear heels and these are huge! Although I've had a little practice in them already I think I may be taking a back up pair of flat shoes. 

I've still been having a few down moments but I'm trying to get through them the best I can. I think one of the big issues is I feel trapped and I'm lonely. I'm a little restricted as to what I can do when the mr is at work. My sister is out of action since she hurt her foot on Eths birthday. She was told it's broken but then at a follow up appointment this week she was told it's actually tendon damage. She's had a cast for two weeks for no reason. I do know I need to get out and socialise but I don't know where to start. I hope once Eth is at nursery in September it will free up a few hours so I can take helana to a baby group. 

Being a mum is so lonely

It is. I mean it's great you have these little people you raise and help shape them into the person they'll become but it's a lonely job. Sure you have you have the support of your family and friends and of course your partner (if they are still involved) but it seems people forget about you. I may be a mum but I still know how to have a good time. I'd love to go out for the evening and not just be a mum I want to feel alive again. 

Yesterday I had a pretty tough time and today it doesn't seem to have gotten much better. The mr is working the late shift so doesn't get into 7pm (usually 3:30pm) and by that time it's the bedtime struggle. So we won't be able to relax until Eth has settled down which could be an hour or more. I cried this morning because the kids were screaming at me and no matter what I did I couldn't do it fast enough. I also locked myself away in the bathroom to have a cry because I feel so alone and isolated. I keep telling myself that it isn't always going to be this hard but until this phase is over I can't see the bright light. Not every day is like this but recently it seems to have become the norm. It is getting worse. 

Potty training

We started to give potty training another go when we got in from town Saturday morning. We'd tried a few times before but Eth always had a meltdown as soon as you mentioned the word 'potty'. This time was no different. As soon as the nappy was off and he was presented with the potty he had a 45 minute meltdown. Eventually we got him to calm down and left him to it. We kept asking if he needed a wee and each time it was a no. Then out of nowhere he started crossing his legs so again we asked him if he needed a wee and pointed to the potty. He went over and missed to begin with but managed to get the rest of it into the potty. Success!! From then on he would go and sit down and have a wee each time we asked him. By the end of the day he was starting to take himself to the potty without us asking. Sunday we had a meltdown again but by the end of he day he was again taking himself over and having a wee. Today (Monday) I've barely had to ask him if he needed to go. He's gone on his own (one accident) and he even managed to have a poo on it! Amazing! I am such a proud mummy right now. If only someone would give me a sweetie when I went to the toilet. 

Slight side note. Things are looking great with the photographer for the wedding and the day invites are in the post :)

The little girl is growing fantastically and her eye is being sorted after being passed around several times and told to wait for her 8 week check up it turned out she needed antibiotics since day 1.