Busy times and being myself

Eth is going to be three on Tuesday! It's crazy how fast time is going. I look at his sister and I can't believe he has gone from that small and relying on me for everything to the independent little boy he is now. He's not a baby anymore and as he keeps telling me "he's a big boy". For a birthday treat we brought him a couple of goldfish which he named Nemo and Fishy. He is absolutely over the moon with them. I mean we already have a dog and a cat but the goldfish are his favourite at the moment as they are his and only his. They live on the side in his room in the scooby doo tank which he chose himself. 

(Nemo is the very bright orange one and Fishy is the orange and White one. )

So tomorrow (Monday) Eth has his stay and play place at nursery. I can stay with him for the two hours but I'm starting to think it would be better to drop him off and come back later. Maybe I could use the time for some mother and daughter bonding or even take a trip into town to pick up some last minute birthday things for him. I thought is be much sadder to see my little boy go off to nursery but instead I can't wait for the break three hours a day will give me. Most likely shed a tear though when I drop him off. 

It's funny since becoming a mummy I cry much more often then I did before. Not even at times when I'm upset. Sometimes just because I'm so proud of something the kids have done. Maybe it's because even though I've always worn my heart on my sleeve since I bece a mummy my emotions are much nearer to the surface. 

Helana has her second lot of injections tomorrow. I always feel sorry for the babies when they start having injections. It's necessary of course but they look upon you as their world and trust you so deeply that as soon as the needle pierces their skin they have a look that makes me feel I've let them down. However after a few seconds of screaming and a cuddle they're fine again. 

Well I've had my wedding dress for a while now and today I'm finally going to put it on. When Hayden proposed to me (four years ago this September) I knew what sort of dress I wanted. So when I saw one going at a fantastic price I snapped it straight up. I was luckily enough when I was pregnant that the only weight I gained was Helana and all baby related (proved at the 8 week check up). Completely different story with Eth however. Throught out this pregnancy I was still wearing my jeans from before I got pregnant. In fact I was the same size apart from just having to buy a couple of maternity tops. Anyway I went a little off topic there but the most important thing is I'm trying my dress on today! My sister and stepmum are coming over to help me out. Unfortunately the mum in law can't make it as she had previously made plans. I've already seen some shoes I really want to go with it. 

Neither of us are very traditional so the wedding won't be too traditional. 

The rings came on Tuesday. They are perfect. Hand made, unique and just what we wanted. In fact, H wants to wear his now but of course I told him he can't. It might seem like we've got a lot done when we aren't getting married until next September but to us it made sense to get things while we see them. That way next year there won't be too many big things to do. September is already going to be stressful enough with Eth starting school full time. 

Talking of weddings, I'm now able to go away with H in October to see him be the best man for his brother at his wedding. My parents are very nicely going to have the children for the 4 days we are away so I don't have to pull Eth out of nursery. I also don't think a 6 month old would do too well on a plane. Especially with the amount of stuff you have to take anywhere for a baby. 

I'm already stressed out about the amount of stuff we're going have to take away with us for a four day trip to wales next week. 

I'm finally going to be getting my next tattoo very soon. I've already got two and have wanted another one for ages but something has always seemed to get in the way. H isn't so keen on me having another one but at the end of the day it's my body and I had my tattoos before he met me so he knew what he was getting himself into. I think maybe he worries what people we say. He says he's not bothered but sometimes I think he worries over silly things. I'm not bothered if people don't like it, it's the person who I am so why hide it. I feel like I can't always be the true me especially around his parents but why should I hide? His mum describes me as liking 'dark things'. I don't even know what that means.  Besides after having Helana I feel now is the right time to get another one. This is the sort of design I want but not exactly the same.

I've asked the artist to tweak it a bit so it fits in with my others. I'm don't usually like tattoos to represent your kids but this just seemed perfect to me. One is going to be coloured blue, one pink and the one in the middle purple. Mummy bird and her two babies. :)

A few busy and exciting months ahead.