So my little man will be 20 weeks this friday. It doesn't seem possible. I still see him as that little bundle but now he's doing so much more.
We started weaning him and  Ican tell you it seems like we may have waited longer than we needed. He knows what to do. I was expecting him to maybe just eat a tiny amount but he polished off half a tin of baby food! Now I know that he is ready for it we can think about making our own food for him.
We were visited by one of Hayd's friends and his daughter last week. She is a couple of weeks off 1 and doing so much. I'm really looking forward to Ethan crawling and pulling himself up on things. I can't wait. That being said you shouldn't wish your life away.

Who's the grown up?

So the little man will be 18 weeks old this Friday. I can't understand where the time has gone. Everyone tells you that time goes so quickly especially when you have a child and until now I never really believed them.
He now weighs exactly a stone and he's on 8 oz bottles along with being introduced to solids. He has such a hunger!
My aunt visited us for the first time in a while. She fell in love with Eth straight away. (It's so hard not to) My cousins were fighting over who got to hold him. It felt so good seeing that side of the family again. When I say that side I mean my mum's side. They are the only ones from that side that want anything to do with my sister and I.
Even our mum erased us from her life a long time ago. We've been accused of not wanting to know that side even though I was only 5 and my sister 3 when she left and walked out of our lives forever. Thank god we've got a great dad.
So do I message that side and tell them to forget about us or just leave it? I'm way beyond the olive branch as I've extended it so many times before.
A mother or grandmother should not act like the way they've been acting. Thankfully I have a very supporting family and a great aunt who knows where I'm coming from as they treat her just the same.

Upset is an understatement

So last night we fought. It was a pretty intense fight. It had been building up for weeks. I don't always feel loved anymore let alone appreciated. He always uses work as an excuse for being tired. He forgets I get up the same time with him every day. Just because I'm on maternity leave doesn't mean I don't work hard. I have a 14 (nearly 15) week old to take care of all day. Unlike him I don't get days off from it. He hurt me so badly and when he went to sleep on the sofa I sent him this text.

"I find it difficult these days talking to you as you seem to always use work as an excuse. I'm fed up of putting everything on hold for you to be happy. I'm fed up of pretending to be something I'm not and liking things I don't just to please others. If I wanted to be treated like a mug I would of stayed with my ex. I'm sick of nagging you all the time. It feels like I'm only around to take care of Eth and for the occasional lay. I'm tired of having the same argument all the time and the only way to end it may be to end it! They say having a baby changes relationships but I never expected it to drive a wedge between us. Don't get me wrong whatever happens between us Eth will grow up knowing that both his parents are there for him. Something I never had."

He apologised and we had a long talk but I can honestly say it still feels pretty tense between us this morning.

Nap time

It's very rare that I manage to get a moment to fire up the laptop and just type away. This is one of those rare moments. The little man is asleep and although I know I should be trying to catch up on some sleep as well I'm not tired.
This got me thinking. Apart from the first few days when we brought Ethan back from the hospital I've not actually been tired during the day. I don't know if this is because I'm used to the sleep deprevation or I'm just running on steam. The other half on the other hand is a differant story. He gets tired alot easier than I do. Maybe when I return to work I shall be just as tired but for now I feel fine.

Settling in

I can't believe how well I've settled into motherhood. Before Ethan was born I was worried I'd turn out like my mum and not be very maternal and leave him at the drop of a hat. I can gladly say that I hate the thought of leaving him and even though sometimes his crying can get a little too much I will always be there for him.

I fall in love with him more each and every day.