You don't get to choose your family

I lost my maternal grandfather on the 5th November. To say I had any feelings would be wrong. The truth is I didn't know the man. In my 27 years I can count the times I've met him on one hand. My mother left both my sister and I when we were 5 and 3 years of age . She had very little contact since. The truth is I've not seen her for 17 years. She wanted boys and ended up with girls, my parents marriage dissolved and she moved away. She always blamed my dad for the marriage going south but she was the one who walked away. She got remarried, had another daughter and pretended we didn't exist.
I always put on a front that her walking away doesn't bother me but deep down I suppose it does.  Since I've become a mother I find it difficult to understand why anyone would walk away from their children. She knows she's a grandmother and I've given her opportunity after opportunity to meet the kids and close the door on the past but she just doesn't want to know.
It's not just her though that whole side of the family just don't want to know. Sure they add you on Facebook but then all I ever get are games requests. No actual conversation has taken place. So I deleted them. It felt therapeutic, it felt amazing. That baggage gone. I'm through with trying to hold a connection that isn't there.
My mother's youngest sister was the one who let me know that my grandfather had passed away. She's the only one on that side that cares. She went out of her way to find my sister and I because no one would tell her where we were. She's great! There's nothing you couldn't like about her. She spends the summer months travelling around in a yellow bus to festivals setting up shop. Her kids are great as well and they're great with our kids. I'd love one year to travel with them just for a couple of weeks.  I've not seen them for about year but we keep in touch. Unfortunately she lives down south and trying to find the time when we are both free can prove to be challenging.
At least she makes an effort some relatives that live much closer don't seem to make an effort. It's not like I don't include them but it's never returned. The mr tells me it's their loss but I can't help but feel the kids are the ones who are missing out.
I guess it's true what they say you can't choose your family. 

It's been busy

Well where do I start? It's been fairly busy since I last blogged. There was the wedding of the mr's brother to his fiancée. That was a fun but a long four days away from the children. It was nice to have a little time away and most of the time I was ok but I found myself tearing up every time someone mentioned the kids. I also had a disagreement with one of the mr's friends as it seems his view is that a woman's place is at home looking after the kids while the men are allowed to go out and enjoy themselves. That's fine if turns are taken but no one ever says to me 'I'll have the kids while you have some time to yourself'. In fact the only time the kids aren't with me is if we have to run an errand we know will be long and boring.
I'm due to return to work in February but due to money issues I have had to return to work at the end of this month but thankfully I have 4 and a half weeks holiday to take so I won't be returning to work until after the festivities.
We've made some parent friends. Ethan has a 'girlfriend' called Lily and her parents are great. They are a bit older that us but great fun to be around. Lily has already told her mum and dad that she's going to marry Ethan! Best start saving now I guess. :)
Ethan was named 'star of the week' last week at school but he wouldn't tell us why. To be honest he barely tells us anything about school. It's like talking to a brick wall sometimes.
I've been feeling tired all the time recently. The mr reckons it's because I'm busy all day with the kids but I don't know if it's just that.
We had a meeting with Ethan's teacher today. He has trouble understanding sharing but we were told that they aren't concerned as some children have always been in a childcare setting and he's been at home with us on his own until recently. He's very smart for his age and he's always singing. It's nice to see our hard work teaching him to count, colours and singing etc has been recognised. We were told that even though he is one of the youngest members of the class he is advanced academically. He works very hard and has come on leaps and bounds in the 9 weeks school has been back.  We came away very pleased.
The littlest is now 7 months old and can sit unaided. She's not a fussy eater like her big brother but instead loves trying whatever is put in front of her. She's very independent and likes to feed herself. Still waiting for a tooth yet but lots of chewing and red rosy cheeks so it may not be long.
Not much on the wedding front apart from paying things off. Only a couple of months left before the date closes for the RSVP.